Composition (4) - from PSLE Booklet Page 17, Question 10

I know that you will enjoy and be entertained by these stories from as much as I did. 
These three compositions scored higher than 35 marks out of 40. Are you able to tell why? :)


[Mark Lim, 6I3] 

     It felt almost as if swords of guilt were stabbing at my heart as tears rolled down my cheek. The sobbing of my sister could be heard through the locked door of my room. The day was meant to be a joyous time of celebration, but I was now miserable. The day had started off great...

     Waking up with a spring in my step, I bounded out of bed and saw my parents cooking up a storm in the kitchen. I headed straight for them and they wished me a happy birthday. At that moment, Jane, my sister stepped into the kitchen. I immediately pulled her aside and begged my sister to tell me if I had received the  ‘iPhone’ present that I desired greatly. However, she just animatedly shushed me as my mother shot her a knowing smile.

     “Clean up your room quickly before your friends arrive at noon, Jack!” Yelled mother. Whining loudly, I had no choice but to do as told. Then I was struck with a brilliant idea. I would seize that opportunity to search every nook and cranny in the house while dragging my box of toys behind me as a disguised cover.

     Then, behind the shoe rack, there it was! Delicately wrapped with stunning flower paper and beautifully ornamented with a silver bow. Please let it be what I want. But to my disappointment, my ears pricked when I heard the sound of footsteps behind me. I instantly shoved it back into place and shot up, pretending to put the shoes in place. My father shot me a quizzical look but thankfully, I was saved of explanation as my mother called me in.

      We were gathering round the dining table so I could open my present before the guests arrived in three hours. Then Dad came in with that present which had nearly cost me.

     With my eyes covered, I pushed my hand inside and pulled out a huge item. Then with my eyes uncovered, I saw that it was a hamster cage. Gently, I pulled out the hamster and cradled it in my hands gingerly when suddenly, my sister let out a shriek of pain as she stubbed her foot against the table led. In my state of shock, I failed to hold on to the hamster properly and it slipped out of my hands and scampered off.

     I was fuming. All because of my annoying and careless sister, my birthday present had run off! I stood up and glared at her before storming off into my room, banging shut and locking it behind me.

     “Jack! It was an accident! She had no intention to do that!” yelled my mom. Through a crack in the door I saw my sobbing sister scanning the ground for the little critter. I felt so guilty. They rushed to close all the doors so it could not escape, when my sister ran out of my view towards the direction of the kitchen. When she came back, she crouched down with treats in her hand to try to entice and lure the hamster out of its hiding spot under the couch.

     At that moment, I flung the door open and darted towards my sister who was cupping the hamster gingerly in her hands nibbling on the pumpkin seed. I hung my head in shame and apologized for being so rash and for lashing out at them. I also promised them that I would not fly off the handle again. My sister then placed her hand on my shoulder and apologized profusely for startling me. I also thanked my parents for the wonderfully cute gift.

     I learnt that a handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains and that we are stronger working as a team.

[Dheeraj Jothilingam, 6I3] 

     The day that Mary had been waiting for had finally arrived. She had been keeping the secret for weeks now and it was killing her to keep it from her unsuspecting brother. She could not see the look on his face when he finally receives his present.

     Her older brother, Gary, has always had a big heart . He is probably the kindest person anyone has ever known and Mary idolises him a lot . He is very passionate about sports and especially basketball. To their dismay, he broke his leg when he represented his school to compete in the National Basketball Tournament and had to pull out from the tournament. He was defeated by his injury as the road to recovery was long and arduous. He had to undergo surgery to insert to hold his bones together and had to attend physiotherapy sessions to help him to regain his ability to walk again. Needless to say, he could not play sports for a long time.

     In the weeks that followed after the surgery, Gary became very withdrawn and they could see that he was very badly affected by the accident. His parents decided to give him a surprise to cheer him up. Mary was over the moon when she found out what they had planned. They had decided to get him a dog. He had been begging to have a pet for the longest time and Mary guessed her parents finally relented upon seeing how despondent he had been after the injury. She had accompanied her parents to select the puppy. They instructed her not to breathe a word about it to her brother. However, they could not take the puppy home yet as it was still feeding on its mother’s milk. They paid for the dog and made an appointment to come back and pick it up two weeks later.

     That fateful day finally arrived. Gary’s mother had accompanied him to his physiotherapy session while his father went to pick him up the delightful bundle of joy that was about to become a part of their family. Shortly after, his father returned with a huge box containing their pet. Gary’s mother and him returned home first. Gary’s mother tried to cheer him up by announcing that the physiotherapist had mentioned  he was doing well and would be able to do some light sports soon. Gary responded with a weak smile and was about to make to his room when Gary’s mother stopped him. She gestured him to sit on the couch and announced that they had a big surprise for him. By then Mary was bursting with excitement and was doing all she could to contain herself.

     Their father brought out a huge floral-printed box and placed it on the coffee table beside the couch. Their mother then told Gary that they had a gift for him but he had to guess what it was. She then used her hands to cover his eyes while their father opened the box for Gary to place his hand in. As Gary groped around in the box, Mary could see a smile slowly creep onto his face as he touched the soft fur of a dog. 

      “A dog!” Gary exclaimed in excitement. Their mother removed her hands from his face and Gary met his new pet. Gary was like a dog with two tails. He carried the dog out of box gingerly. The animal wagged its tail and liked his left hand, much to his delight. Gary turned and thanked his parents his parents for the wonderful gift and gave them a hug each.

     In the weeks that followed, two of them became fast friends. The puppy followed Gary wherever he went and we could tell that the dog he named Snoopy cheered him up tremendously. They could see the sparkle returning to Gary’s eyes and he started to pull himself together again. He made a speedy recovery and was back on the basketball court in no time. 

     There is a saying that ‘laughter is the best medicine’. For all the joy that Snoopy brought, he was indeed the best 'medicine' for Gary!

[Cheyenne Tso, 6I3]

Jason put his hand on the doorknob. His other hand fumbled with his keys, trying to keep as quiet as possible. He needed some time to mentally prepare himself without the family noticing. At last, the right key was inserted into the keyhole, and Jason took a deep breath. This was it. He put on his “birthday smile” and pushed the creaky old green door open.

Jason’s house was always clean and tidy, but that was only because of the scarcity of furniture and personal belongings in it. Jason’s family had never been rich, but, as his mother liked to say, they were rich on love. Whenever Jason heard that, he had to suppress an irresistible urge to roll his eyes and say “Yeah, right.”

The lights were on in the living room, which also served as a dining room and a kitchen. Jason’s mother, father, and sister Lily were standing around an old chintz armchair. The floral print had long since faded, and springs and stuffing were showing, but to Jason it was still the chair in which he spent most of his free time relaxing.

A small coffee table was sitting on frail legs frequently toured by termites, right next to the armchair. On the coffee table, an innocent-looking cardboard box glared at Jason, as if saying, “This year you better not complain about what you’re getting.” Jason wanted to smack his forehead. It was the same old thing every year when her birthday came around.

“Come here, Jason,” his mother said. Jason’s eyes flitted around. His parents’ smiles were just as faked as his, but Lily was genuinely happy about the occasion. Whatever was inside that box, it definitely was not those new pair of cleats he wanted.

The family had a tradition of opening birthday presents just before meals, possibly to cancel out the unpleasantness of disappointment. Jason sat down on the armchair, which bounced twice before ceasing its trademark creaking.

Jason’s mother covered his eyes and he reached into the box, groping around blindly. His hand touched a warm, sticky, soft object. He closed his fingers around it and brought the object out of the box.

“And to think I was hoping for something better,” Jason thought, disgruntled, as he slowly regained use of his eyes in the sudden brightness. “What did I expect, that my parents would sell this useless old pigsty and buy me a bicycle?”

The warm, sticky, soft object was a blue-greenish figurine on a piece of painted cardboard. The figurine looked like a ball stuck on five sticks, arranged in the form of a stick man. Jason guessed that it was he. One of the sticks was connected to another stick figurine, smaller and wackier. That was probably Lily. And Lily probably made it too, judging from the workmanship.

“Well?” Lily asked anxiously. “I made this at school using the Blu-Tack my teacher gave me. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, I like it,” Jason told his seven-year-old sister. When he turned back to the box, his words felt like vinegar in his mouth.

It was a surprise to him when the box yielded emptiness. “Where are my mother presents?” Jason asked. He could feel his stiff smile slipping away, so he pretended to cough, the interval giving him enough strength to force his smile back on.

His father looked uncomfortable. “I gave you a lamp,” he said, not looking at his son. “It’s in your room.”

“And I made your favourite dish,” Jason’s mother hurriedly added, grabbing Jason’s hand and leading him towards the dining table. Jason was fed up. He had reached the end of his patience. He shook off his mother’s hand and glared—first at Lily, then at his father.

“That lamp was from your room,” Jason began. “You just gave it to me because you didn’t need it anymore. And Mom, my favourite dish is roasted pig with cranberry sauce, which you can’t possibly afford to make. It’s not like you even know what I like to eat and what I don’t, which is basically anything cheap enough for us to buy. You people don’t know the first thing about me, I’ve had enough of all this poverty. Even going to jail is better than living in this place.”

Before he could continue, Lily’s lips puckered, her nose twitched, and her eyes filled with tears. She wailed as loud as the day she was born, barely pausing between sobs to breathe.

Jason turned on her. “And you! I would rather you didn’t bother getting me anything. Look at that piece of junk!” Jason shoved his sister, hard, and she staggered backwards, stunned. “You didn’t even think about how I would feel if you made me a lousy present just to fulfil an obligation.”

 He shoved the screaming Lily one last time and stormed into his room. He could swear steam was coming right out of his ears.

After Jason clammed the door as hard as he could behind him, he collapsed onto the creaky old bed. It took a few moments to stop grinding his teeth and cool his head down. He sat up in his bed abruptly and opened the door. He was going to clear this mess up.

He was going to burst into the living room when he heard his parents conversing in very, very low voices. Jason got down on all fours and crept slowly the entrance of the living room.

“Did you pay back the usury loan yet?” Jason’s mother asked tentatively.

That’s illegal! Jason thought. He furrowed his brows and crept closer. “Yes, of course, I had to before the government found out. But I spent every last penny I had. Plus, the landlady sent us this.” He held up a letter, which Jason read with increasing disgust. If letters were people, that one would be a crinkly old woman, with her hands on her hips and her lips pursed, tapping her feet with impatience.

“I’ll go buy some real presents for Jason after work tomorrow,” Jason’s father said, his voice wrapped around a deep sigh. “You go over to the landlady’s and explain it to her.”

Suddenly, Mom slammed her hand down on the table softly. “We can’t live like this anymore. You know you only earn enough money every day to feed the family.” She wrenched a plain gold ring off her finger, the one treasure she had vowed never to let go of. “I’m going to pawn this and pay the landlady. Jason’s presents can come out of Lily’s university fund.”

Jason ducked back into his room and closed the door. He leaned against the wall, a sour sensation filling his eyes and nose. Mom’s wedding ring kept her going through so many hard times, and Lily had such a bright future. How could his parents give it all away for him?

Tears were streaming in silent rivulets down his face. Jason’s trembling lip had been bitten raw to keep him from making a sound.

He made up his mind and rushed out into the living room. “Mom, Dad, I realized that I’m not really concerned with my physical presents. I had thought you weren’t showing affection for me. It doesn’t matter whether I get my dumb present. The most important part is my family’s love.”

Jason embraced his parents, a genuine smile on his lips. Then he kissed Lily on the cheek.

          Afterwards, as Jason lay in bed, he reflected on his words. Some families were stinking rich, but few of those rich families had enough love. Some families could stay amazingly optimistic in times of difficulty. That was because they felt like the bonds between them were strong enough to get them through the day. Jason’s bonds with his family had been strengthened by the events of the day. Maybe in the future, they would get richer. Maybe they would get even poorer. But whatever happened, Jason knew he would always be loved, and would always love.